Darshak’s Story:

I’ve always been a positive and optimistic person; even when the going gets tough, I see the good and bright side of life. Of course, life has its ups and downs, but my affirmations, positive thinking and quotes of wisdom have always been of great strength. Life is a rollercoaster; sometimes, it can consume all of us, even people like me, who will see light at the end of the tunnel.

Just like the daylight changes during summer and winter or the weather when it's sunny or rainy, so do feelings and emotions; this happens especially for me when it’s winter and there is less daylight. I experienced Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) a couple of years back; it felt like this did not leave me and stayed for a very long time, which felt like years!

I felt as though I was living each day on autopilot and just began to retreat in on myself like a snail protected in my shell. I would feel as though I am physically present but consciously not there. As the saying goes, “The lights were on, but no one is in”. I just wanted to keep to myself and not talk with anyone; my whole personality changed to becoming reserved. I struggled to speak and communicate with my family and friends. They could see that I was not myself and tried to help me, but I was not allowing myself to talk, ask for help or share. I had put a stigma on myself, and it was not the stigma that I may have received from others but the one I had put on myself. This was due to several factors, including permanent tiredness, difficulty with sleeping, lack of motivation, and will and drive to do things and be productive.

I had felt that I didn’t have energy, no spark or will. I always felt tired, even though I had ample sleep and sufficient hours. Tension and stress consumed me, there were only some points where I would actually feel myself, but this was temporary and didn’t last long. I would overthink things subconsciously, as I didn’t even know what was happening. I retreated inward and became antisocial, but that was not me. I am a people person. When I wanted to go out, I got freaked out and would panic about people and how things are in the world. I took everything literally and personally, and the things I kept asking myself were, “why me” “why does this happen” and “can’t there be an on / off switch?”

Toward the end of 2019, I had enough; I needed out, wanted out even and wanted just to leave everything behind and start fresh with anything else. I had felt that the year was one of great loss and suffering, which was getting more and more difficult as the year progressed.

At the time, I could not fathom or see how much I had gained and been blessed with. I found it difficult to see the beauty, as I was grieving and in pity with all the loss, the suffering and the pain I was feeling. I was ready to leave work, ready to walk out, but I had a glimmer of hope as for the new year, I was going to India on a spiritual retreat! The first time in India, and that too in a sacred holy land.

Coming back to the start of 2020 after India, feeling energised and full of life again. I faced more loss which made me relapse and go inward so much that I thought I was losing the plot as well as the will; I felt so depressed.

I then decided to seek help by talking with a friend who signed me up for CBT. There was so much time the year before that I’d be looking at CBT online, but just not having the strength to click the button to sign up and seek help. I was scared, had put a stigma on myself, became reserved and shut those closest to me out. Taking an olive branch was the best decision I made.

My journey with CBT began toward the start of 2020; this was a big step, a huge step even. I had one in-person session and the rest over the phone as covid 19 hit the world. Through CBT, it was discovered that I had low mood and anxiety. I frequently had panic attacks and tried different techniques to help regulate my breathing; this affected me a lot.

Through CBT, I began opening up and talking with family and friends again. It was difficult, but once I opened up, I felt a sense of relief, and this was, as I was told at the time, counselling and therapy in itself, which looking back, it absolutely was.

CBT gave me the necessary tools and resources to better manage, cope and handle life. It went hand in hand with my spiritual practice, which gave me the strength to do both.

Having reflected on this over time, I wish I had done something sooner, had asked for help or accepted the support that was coming to me. I was feeling lost at the time and did not know what to do. Having been through all I did, I have gratitude that I can share my story with those that read this, with you and in hope, in the inspiration that you do not worry about anything, keep the focus on yourself, always strive to become the best version of yourself. Nothing else compares to mastering yourself. I am grateful for how my story has unfolded as it has allowed me to be shaped into the person that I am today; it’s moulded me into changing my values, passion and purpose. It’s shown me that I am a people person and want to give back wherever possible.

I am an advocate for mental health; having carried out Mental Health First Aider (MHFA) training, becoming a work MHFA trainer has been wonderful as it allows me to grow and serve my peers. Kate Jackson, my trainer on the course, is brilliant and knowledgeable.

I am one of the organisers and part of the sharing group at Mindera, which I enjoy a lot as it enables everyone to share thoughts, ideas and reflections on topics that we explore together. I love the Sharing Group, what we stand for, and how far we have come and grown. Connecting to what we are doing to achieve the best for each other. We have all grown together so much as facilitators and participants. We have implemented our learnings, lived by them and shared them with everyone. I love all the topics and helping to run the sessions, as I am super passionate about each topic and love to serve to give back to everyone. Each of us does this, as we hold it very close to us; it is what we love and are passionate about. Without everyone joining us, we would not be where we are today.

A quote from the Bhagavad Gita that resonated for me on anxiety is - “The longer you dwell on the problem, the more anxious you will become. Don't waste your time worrying; instead, act now. The best way to deal with anxiety is to act ~ Sri Govindu.”

Darshak’s personal tips for working with Anxiety/Low Mood:

My tips are listed below on what I did that worked for me. Of course, it can be different for others, but I’d like to share with you my personal flair, which I hope will allow you to know that you are not alone:

1. The power of affirmations and positive thinking is key; trust yourself, believe in yourself and know that you have the power to do anything that you put your heart, soul and mind to do.

2. Being a spiritual person, my spiritual life & meditation helped me a lot to be grounded, tune inwards to reflect and meditate.

3. Exercise is key! Even when your mind tells you no, tell yourself that you’re boss, and remind yourself that you will thank yourself after a gym session, a run, a cycle ride, yoga or anything that you love doing. Having the happy hormones flowing will give you more energy and drive to your day. So be disciplined and remain motivated.

4. Walking and being outdoors in nature keeps me going, no matter what, 99% of the time, I go for my daily walks, rain or shine. I enjoy this so much that it keeps me active, and the fresh air with nature is amazing.

5. Talking with loved ones is another key one; I felt so much that I didn’t want to talk, and I was putting a lot of stigma on myself, but when I encouraged myself to talk, to share how I was feeling, I felt a sudden let go and sense of relief and calming. This, in retrospect, was a great accomplishment and once I opened up and started to talk helped me loads.

6. Seek help, and don’t worry or feel that you are alone, as you are not alone. There are so many people that want to help you, be there for you, let them in and let them help just like you’d want to help someone else.

7. Remove stigma on yourself and of what others may say or think. This can very well be your mind playing tricks with you.

8. Some great tools from the NHS could be of help - 6 ways to feel happier, which are simple lifestyle changes to help you feel more in control and able to cope.

9. Find out how to raise your self-esteem.

10. Try mindfulness, where you focus on the present moment.

11. Listen to the free mental well-being audio guide.